There’s Always Light At The End of The Tunnel

Spring fever is upon us, as are tests, finals, projects, hormones, and bad decisions. How many commas can I use in sentence?

Anywhere but here, I plea. In every class, I stare out the windows at the buds on the trees. The view from table closest to the windows in the library is especially pretty during first hour. If you look past the parking lots you’ll see a weeping willow that’s yellow instead of green. It will be green soon enough, as will every tree. I feel lonely in this school. When I’m outside I feel lively again but I rarely get time out there.

Being sad won’t fix anything. This is what I tell myself as I sit in class with my head on the desk. Being sad won’t make you smarter. Being sad won’t make you a better person. Being sad won’t make people like you. These words just make things worse. I don’t want to be sad anymore, a while ago I thought that maybe I was all better. But now, all I want is to talk to my friends and actually laugh. I don’t find things funny anymore. I want to have energy and experience excitement again. Hopefully these are just the side effects of an overworked mind. So I must trudge through the next few weeks. The thing that sucks about the end of the school year is that I’m always so drained, I can never end it on a good note. I withdraw from friends, so once summer comes we don’t stay in contact. Last summer I hung out with about 4 people, and only about one or twice a month.

This year I will change that. I want to force myself to continue friendships. I’m actually going to make the most out of my summer! I’m going to still be busy, but a better kind of busy. After school gets out, I’ll finally take my driver’s test. (Hopefully past it as well!!!) Then I’m taking the ACT again. I got a 32 the first time I took it in February and now I really want a 34. After that I’m taking a writer’s workshop up at Hamline University. I’m absolutely terrified for that. Not only will I be sharing my writings but also meeting new people. I don’t do very well with first impressions or making friends. Usually it’s super awkward until about a month or two into your friendship with me. Honestly, I’ve been friends with people for years before I can even initiate a conversation with them. Anyways hopefully all will go well. I’m looking forward to summer so much! But that just makes everyday at school so much harder.

I feel like this post needs a bunch of quotes at the end of it. So here are some relevant and not so relevant ones:

“But listen to me. For one moment quit being sad. Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you.” – Rumi

 

“Will I be something?

Am I something?

And the answer comes:

You already are.

You always were.

And you still have time to be.” – Anis Mojgani

 

“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.” – Sahaj Kohli

 

“We are all books because we have spines and stories to tell.” – Unknown

 

“We waste so many days waiting for weekend. So many nights wanting morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life.” – Unknown

 

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” – Eckhart Tolle

 

“I’m still writing about you and you haven’t read a word.” – Travis Grandt

The credit of these quotes may be wrong, I was too lazy to check. And I might use them again for another post because I really liked some of them. I’ll talk to you guys again soon! Also remind me to do a post about prom!

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